I always wanted two boys and I had such daydreams of what that would be like.
It would be fun to watch them grow up playing trucks and trains together. They’d be on the same sports teams as they got older. I just knew people would ooh and aahh, and say things like, “Oh! There’s Harley’s and Harrison’s mom. They are such good boys. I don’t know how she does it.”
I would stand on the porch and wave to my boys as they headed out with their dad and grandpa to go hunting, fishing, and camping. I had this idyllic picture in my head of what it would be like to be the mother of two boys.
Holy Crap! What was I thinking!?!
My sweet mental picture did not include clothes scattered from one end of the house to the other. I didn’t think about the Lego’s, the Hot wheels, and all the other little things that can cause serious injury to a bare foot. My picture did not include the arguing, and fighting, the constant use of the words like “wiener, pee pee, junk, penis, butt, booty, bootocks, and poop.”
Now I know better.
Boys are great fun. I love them dearly and wouldn’t trade my adventures for anything. If I hadn’t had boys, I wouldn’t have been able to say things like:
- No, you may not put your crayons in the toaster oven.
- Put your clothes back on, and LEAVE them on!
- There will be no sword fighting with the ceiling fan.
- Hot wheels do not go in the salad spinner.
- Let go of your wiener. I promise it’s not going to fall off.
- You may not attempt to get to your room by climbing on the counters, and furniture. You are not Tarzan, or George of the Jungle. You will walk! On the floor!!
If I hadn’t had boys, I would never have been able to create the rules for fighting:
- Someone will get hurt.
- There will be no crying.
- There will be no tattling.
Are you sure you want to play fighting? Of course they play fighting. . . someone gets hurt. . .there may be minimal crying. . . but nobody dares tell momma!
I’m off to enjoy my boys! More adventures await.